Monday, February 1, 2010

Reason #17: Hipsters

Hippies taught us to reject war and embrace love.  Punks taught us to reject establishment and embrace individuality.  The Grunge scene basically said f*ck everything, but at the very least it made us question our reality.  And all three of those movements taught us how to transform our reality with awesome mind altering substances.  It seems like every subculture has made a meaningful mark on society.

But what do hipsters teach us?  After living in the Lower Haight for a year this is the message I'm getting:

About clothing:
Extremely tight pants were designed to be worn by men.  Scarves are meant to be worn as accessories, not for warmth.  And it's worth the extra money for an outfit if it looks like you bought it at Goodwill.

About transportation:
Ride a bicycle.  But not one with off-road tires.  Or a suspension.  Or gears.  Or breaks.  And make sure you spend a shit-ton of money on it.  And paint it bright yellow and purple.  And wear a stupid little hat when you ride it.

About technology:
If Apple makes one, buy one.

About music:
Make it screechy and Canadian and ridiculously weird.  And make it impossible to play at parties.

About life, religion, love and society:
I don't know, because I haven't heard hipsters stop talking about man scarves, track bikes, iPads and Of Montreal concerts.

Granted I've been to an Of Montreal concert.  And I just bought a flannel shirt from  And I'm wearing a MUNI beanie right now while I sit here drinking wine and blogging on my netbook.  I'm a fucking hipster.  Get me out of here.


  1. Completely agree with 95% of this post except Of Montreal is from Athens, GA. Substitute Crystal Castles and you hit the nail on the head.

  2. Touche sir! Maybe I should have said Rural Alberta Advantage instead.

  3. Happy to report that I wear loose cut jeans, scarf only when weather-requisite, have a used utility bicycle with red helmet, and listen exclusively to American hip-hop party beats from 1997-2002

  4. ...and I have a Dell with Windows XP

  5. Yeah, but I bet you're a hipster and you do all of that stuff ironically.